| 257 fine barn, a lot of grain, hay, and a number of horses by fire, set by incendiaries out of revenge as it is supposed, and who had removed with other citizens into Nauvoo and bought property there. With one of his sons, Putnam, circumstances had made me well acquainted. He had crossed the plains a number of times, had been in Salt Lake City and other parts of Utah, and in California. He and I had frequently discussed Mormonism; that is, some parts of it, and he had persistently insisted that I could do a great and an excellent work by going to Utah, and as he put it, 'taking the lead away from Brigham; breaking up that system of things there,' or to 'fall in with the style of things there, become a leader, get rich, marry three or four wives and enjoy yourself.' Though not a religious man himself, he thought it might be a duty that I owed the people of Utah. He further thought, that from his experience in Utah, and the expressions he had heard among the people there, that I would be received with open arms and could succeed.
"To this I replied as best I could, until the question, Why not go to Utah? There are the men who were with my father, or a great many of them. There, a large part of the family; there, also, seem to be the only ones making profession of belief in Mormonism who appear to be doing anything. Does not duty demand that I go there and clear my name and honor of the charge of ingratitude to my father's character? Is not polygamy, against which you object, a correct tenet? Is not your objection one of prejudice only? These and a thousand others of similar import were suggested, and added their weight to the difficulty of the situation. In the height of it, the words suggested to one who had gone before me came to me with force; 'If any lack wisdom, let him ask of God.' Why not I? Was I not in a position to need wisdom? And was I not destitute of sufficient to enable me to properly decide? I had for three or four years been investigating spiritual phenomena; had read some of the productions of Andrew J. Davis; had also read a little of Dr. Emanuel Swedenborg's philosophy; but I found no good in spiritualism; the phenomena were
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